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Speak the Same Language in Love

Whether you’ve been married for 40 years or dating for four months, a relationship requires partners to work together and communicate to find success. Healthy and open communication is the backbone of a positive, strong relationship—and learning to speak each other’s love languages can help. 

Gary Chapman, PhD, marriage counselor and author of the bestselling book "The Five Love Languages,"  reveals communication styles that are unique to each individual. Knowing your partner’s predominant love languages can help you emotionally connect and understand one another. 

1. Words of Affirmation. Words speak more loudly than actions for people associated with this love language. Encourage them with compliments and verbal affirmations. 

2. Quality Time. Nothing says “I care” like undivided, uninterrupted attention. Plan to spend and share time together with activities you both enjoy.

3. Gifts. Your spouse enjoys receiving gifts as a token of your love. Flowers, decadent sweets, or a simple token of appreciation can mean the world. 

4. Acts of Service. Without being asked, cook dinner or tidy up the house. Taking care of small chores can reinforce this love language. 

5. Affection. Hold hands, kiss, hug, and connect with your spouse physically. Express your love with meaningful actions. 

Looking for new ways to connect? Check out upcoming seminars and workshops at

This article appeared in the Summer 2016 issue of The Beacon.