Be Real: Regrets, Resolutions, & Relief
For much of my 20s, I was a sort of gypsy, meaning I moved around a lot. I jumped from job to job in the hopes the next adventure would lead me to where I was meant to be – to a place where I could truly stand out and make a difference.
In the journalism world, this meant many different newsrooms with a wide cast of characters. Some days were a struggle, fighting for a story, begging for more time to just chase down one more lead, or begging for the story just to be run already! I worked hard and I was good at it. For much of that part of my life, I felt I was making a difference. I was bringing news and education to my community. It was a good thing.
However, as a lowly beat reporter, I didn’t feel I could really effect any change. I felt tied to my ideals yet strangely couldn’t put myself into any of the organizations that I would have supported if I weren’t a journalist whose primary responsibility was to tell unbiased stories.
So, when the opportunity came to move into an organization outside of the news industry, I thought this would finally be my chance to really make an impact. I suppose I have, in some ways, made minor impacts in my work here at Beebe. However, there are days when I still feel I am not doing enough to change the world. It’s a struggle I guess I better just get used to.
One of the smartest women I know once said, ‘Bloom Where You Are Planted.’ Then, recently, I saw it emblazoned on a mug. I carry this sentence with me because, to me, it is something we all really need to think about.
For me, it means that instead of chasing the next horizon or the next opportunity, I need to focus on where I am now and what good I can do here. I can’t always be moving around – gypsy like – through this world or I will never truly make an impact on anyone. I will be a blip on multiple screens, but not a full-fledged changemaker.
You have no idea how this one sentence mentally changed how I look at the world. It calmed my inner gypsy spirit and pushed me to focus on how I could be better in my everyday life. I make the decisions on whether I am going to smile or whether I am going to frown. I decide to make healthy choices. I decide whether to yell or whether to talk softly and with purpose. I decide to push past regrets away and build on today.
What a relief to know that I do not have to feel pushed to conquer that next mountain, when I can build a perfect garden right here where I am already planted. What a relief to know that I can quietly say goodbye to all of those past regrets – the what ifs and the could-have-beens. We all make mistakes. No one should hold them against you forever. Everyone should be allowed to move on and move forward to becoming the person within their soul – the person just waiting to shine from within.
Everyone is talking about resolutions right now, but for me, I simply resolve to open my heart, my soul, and my mind to the glories right in front of me. To take in each moment and focus on how I can make a decision to improve it. To bask in the beauty of my family, my friends, and to not always focus on the next big thing – because sometimes you can be so focused on that big, life-changing project, that you miss out on the amazing moments of your daily life.
I hope if you are one who makes resolutions, that you think about what truly would make you happier… not what would make you wealthier or more popular … but what would make your heart sing. Focus on that in 2019.