Just As I Am: The Mother Within
Witnessing the connection between a mother and child fills my heart with warmth. When I take the time to pause and simply observe a mom connecting with her child or children with her nurturing presence, something inside me softens and I feel expansion in my body. There is something so pure when I’m able to sense into that unconditional love.
I’m going to be completely honest in this blog and have a lot of fears in the possibility of sharing “too much,” but my intention is simply to show up and be authentic. For the past several months, I have been distant with my mother. The details of why are not important; however, what I do feel is important is that just because I chose to have some distance, it doesn’t mean that I do not love her. In fact, I chose distance because I DO Love her. I love my mother very much, but I needed some space to work on some self-healing. I thought about her every day and still do, and I know that she thought about me every day and still does.
During that time of limited contact with my mom, I spent a lot of time paying attention to mothers and their interaction, connection, and engagement with their children. There was a warm sensation that surrounded my heart. Just writing this and sensing into these experiences creates a sense of ease in my body. I am thankful to witness. Then it occurred to me that this nurturing presence is within us all.
Embrace the Nurturing People in Your Life
I became more curious and began surrounding myself with people that allow me to feel this nurturing presence. What I have noticed with these individuals is their ability to listen and hold space without judgment. They remind me that I am not alone and to be gentle with myself. I have also found it to be helpful to hear the words, “I’m here,” and “how can I support you.” I have been practicing staying with those felt sensations in my body when I feel their support. Learning to stay with the experience helps my body remember, so that when I feel unloved, I can offer the same loving kindness towards myself. However, when it becomes too much to handle on my own, I know that I can reach out to those in my “tribe” for additional support.
As I continue to observe relationships between mother and child, I also notice the ability for the mother to empathize. A mother can sense when her child is suffering. A few weeks ago, I was in a really dark place. I had an impulse to call my mom, and I listened to it. My mom came over right away. She felt my dis-ease and pain. She was able to show up and support me when needed. During that time together, there was a lot of healing in our relationship. The experience has brought us even closer together, and we have been in contact every day since. We are currently working on maintaining a healthier relationship with each other, and although it has not been easy, I feel my mother’s love when we’re together and when we’re apart.
Love is Love
I do not have children of my own, but I did decide to adopt a fur-baby about two weeks ago! She is a two-year old Husky/Lab mix, and her name is Halo. Although, it has been a challenge to adjust my schedule, she is such a gift. I feel blessed to feel her unconditional love every day, and rather than rescuing her, I feel that she has rescued me instead.
I am aware that Mother’s Day can be a joyful day for many; however, I know that it can be a challenge for some. My heart goes out to those who have lost their mothers, or maybe struggling in their relationship. I am grateful for all Moms out there that are doing the best they can to show up! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all that you do and all that you are. I do believe that there is a nurturing presence that mothers possess that is available inside each of us; it is our true nature. When we are able to sense into that innate warmth, we can allow it to expand outwards. Being open and sharing our gentle, nurturing heart may feel vulnerable at times but takes great courage. Thank for having the inner strength and courage to love. Happy Month of Mothers!